Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty-Shades-of-Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey (Kindle)

by E.L. James

AR Level… No clue.  I’m not going to look it up!

Do not tell ANYONE that I read this book.  It has never interested me, despite the controversy, banishment, and talk around this book.  I am a wife and mother and I would never read (nor have the need for) “mommy porn.”  I read it as a deal with a friend.  I’d read this (a Twilight fanfic) if she read Twilight.  It’s almost embarrassing that I read it in just 3 days.

Okay, with that said, I got sucked into the story.  It follows a relatively average girl (Anastasia) who is pretty (but doesn’t know it), smart (but not snobby), innocent and inexperienced (but not too naive), with divorced parents, in Washington state, with a crappy car, a female friend, a good male pal, and charmingly awkward.  Doesn’t that sound JUST LIKE Bella Swan?  And then there’s a mysterious, excruciatingly handsome (hot, even) man (Christian Grey) with rust-colored hair, a checkered upbringing, adopted by loving parents (one a doctor) with encouraging siblings (one an affectionate sister), and warns the average girl that he’s dangerous and should stay away.  If nothing else, I wanted to read how Bella Ana got herself out of situations and Edward‘s Christian’s attention.

Anastasia Steele is a college senior who interviews the rich and powerful Christian Grey for a school newspaper.  He instantly falls for her, but warns her that he would be no good for her.  If you’ve read Twilight, I do not need to tell you the plot of this story.  He charms her, she falls for him, he buys her lots and lots of expensive presents, he worries about her health and safety, she changes his previous notions of a girlfriend, blah blah blah.  Plus, they have a lot of hot, dirty, “events.”  But compared to the rest of the story, that’s just a few chapters.  After the first “event” you can pretty much get through the others without giggling.  While I can totally understand why its considered “mommy porn,” I can also understand why my friend got hooked (and got me hooked) on the storyline.  I hope not to be disappointed in the sequels like I was with Divergent.

What I liked about this book was that it was interesting aside from the dirty parts.  The intimate parts were entertaining, but at a certain point, they just became too much, and I’d find myself tuning it out and wondering why Christian was the way he was, and how Ana was going to find a happy medium in their relationship.  I think I had more fun finding parallels between Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey more than anything else.

What I didn’t like about this book was the terrible writing!  Oh my goodness, I’ve never read anything like it!  It is a British author writing American dialogue, and not very good dialogue at that!  We generally don’t use “fond” very often here, and there were many other phrases that were clearly not Americanized.  Some of the words were so obscure, I had to utilize the dictionary feature of my Kindle, while I felt the author should have used the thesaurus feature of her computer.  Seriously, not everything is said in a “murmur” or “whisper,” and it shouldn’t all be said “dryly.”  All pants don’t “hang from [a man’s] hips” and I’ve never heard of a woman’s privates being referred to as her “sex.”  “Oh my” is also vastly and obtusely overused.  I am not saying I’m the greatest author (I’m not an author at all) and I’m sure my blog posts are riddled with errors, but I’m not making millions of dollars on them.  Never have I wanted to take a red pen to a book before.  But seriously, more power to anyone who can become filthy rich from a dirty fantasy written as a fanfic!

Book 37 of 52

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